, you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the money in the jar and the keys to a brand new Lexus."The man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he asks, "What are the three tests?" You gotta pay first," says the bartender, "those are the rules."So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender $10 which he stuffs into the jar."Okay," says the bartender, "here's what you need to do:First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in 60 seconds or less, and you can't make a face while doing it."Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth. You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands."Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never had sex. You have to take care of that problem."The man is stunned! "I know I paid my $10 -- but I'm not an idiot! I won't do it! You'd have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila and then do all those other things!" Your call," says the bartender, "but, your money stays where it is."As. Pissed on. I drank his piss. I gulped it down. I licked it off the toilet. I licked it off the floor."Keith was staring at her as if he'd never seen her before. "What... what... why would you do that? What kind of animal is this guy—" A guy who listens, Keith. He didn't want to do it at first. But he did it because I asked him to. He listened. And do you know what? I had more orgasms with him in one week than I've had with you in the past year!"Keith felt his mind spinning. Sue? His Sue? The woman who had shared his life and his dreams for nearly twenty years? He thought of the trip to Rome they'd taken together, how she'd comforted him after his wallet had been pickpocketed. He thought of the time his mother had keeled over with a heart attack, how Sue was galvanized into action, how she had been the rock he had depended on. Many were the times they had made love peacefully together, and now—"Is that just it for us, then?" Keith, please—" You've found your Lothario, and you're just.
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